She Likes Ta Move it Move it!

Whew, what a day! In going to greet Ainsley this morning we learned that she had already been visited by, and had a workout with the NICU physical therapist. Now, Ainsley still has a therapeutic amount of phenobarbital in her system. As I type this I am realizing that up to this point I have probably thrown out many terms that aren't readily accessible to everyone, and that I'm still learning about myself. So, I'll start by explaining how this medication has been used with Ainsley. Ainsley was given phenobarbital upon arriving in the NICU due to seizures she was having, and I think was also utilized to slow activity in the brain after such a traumatic birth. Phenobarbital is a barbiturate and has kept Ainsley heavily sedated since her birth. Also, with Ainsley continuing to work towards achieving a more active metabolism, the phenobarb is only slowly working its way out of her system; thus keeping our little sweetheart pretty docile. All that said, we arrived this morning to receive the report from her session with the physical therapist. During her session, Ainsley showed movement in both arms and both legs!! I mean give it up for a girl! Not only that, but just as we arrived we were able to see Ainsley moving her arms around some when touched and demonstrate some leg reflexes when you touch her knees! It was a good morning. We also learned that when the nurse was checking her lungs for fluids and suctioning them out, Ainsley's gag reflex kicked in; another first! We couldn't have been much happier this morning.

After all the excitement of the morning we were able to share the fresh news with some our best friends from Boone, NC who came to meet Ainsley and bring us wonderful lunch. Ainsley did a little showing off of her new found movements, but was also tired from the days activities, and we tried not to overstimulate her too much. Today she also continued to crank out some decent amounts of urine (never thought I'd be so excited about pee), and seems to be improving on her kidney functions. All of her blood gas test results came back today with almost everything within the acceptable range. We were especially excited about her calcium level coming up because she was about to receive a medication to help regulate it, but she didn't care for that and said, "BAM, check those stats"! 

So, today was a very busy day for Ainsley and she continues to impress us with her improvements and her cuteness.  She also had her first bath tonight and had her hair washed as well, and is looking quite pretty! : ) 

Not much else to say about today other than I am worn out from the excitement and happiness of many firsts and continued steps of improvement. I just continue to hope that each day has at least a fraction of the progress from today. I hope everyone has a great night, and thank you all for your love and support! 

It's the little things

It's hard to believe that we only met Ainsley 4 days ago. Today was filled with scheduled observations and monitoring of Ainsley, and her progress towards improving in so many different ways. She continues to hold a consistent body temperature, and has not reacted adversely to coming off the cooling blanket. Ainsley's efforts to breathe on her own charge on, but continue to require the support of minimal oxygen and nitric oxide. She is slowly beginning to balance/increase the appropriate levels of various properties in her blood such as calcium, sodium and potassium, but the doctors are continuing to assist her with this feat. We were very happy to see one tube and one IV removed today, although the IV will just have to switch places. Ginnie and I spent a lot of time with Ainsley today with it being just the two of us, and we would talk to her or Ginnie would sing her a song; I think she even taught Ainsley a little Social Distortion : )  The majority of the day went by with the security that Ainsley remains in stable condition, is making small improvements, and remains the cutest darn girl I have ever seen! We did have a great visit with friends and co-workers of mine, Erin and Evangeline, and I was so excited and proud to introduce them to Ainsley. Towards the end of the day though, I have to say was one of the highlights of life in recent memory. Ginnie and I were coming back to see Ainsley after the nurses shift change, and we were greeted by a new nurse that we had not yet met. After we introduced ourselves, the nurse was looking at Ainsley and her bedding. She observed that since the cooling blanket had been taken away, that blankets had collected to either support Ainsley's position changes or cords/breathing tube, and it was just a mess. She began tidying up, and I asked if I could help. Now, I expected her to ask me to just lean Ainsley one way or the other while she placed/pulled blankets, but she directed me to place one hand under her butt and one under her head. Before I knew it she had lifted Ainsley into my arms!  I didn't even recognize that I was really holding her at first because all I could do was just stare down at her beautiful presence and feel her wonderful warmth now that she had left that cold blanket. Ginnie quickly recognized that somehow I had inadvertently gotten "permission" to hold her and blurted out "You're holding her"!  I then snapped back into reality and quickly asked that I be able to pass Ainsley to Ginnie, once her new bed of blankets had been prepared. This wonderful nurse gave direction of what cords/tubes we had to support, but was glad to oblige. I have to say that the feeling of holding my daughter for the first time was one of the best feelings EVER, but seeing the look on Ginnie's face as she took Ainsley into her arms, and the tear that rolled down her face surpassed it. I became aware for long enough to beckon the nurse to let me try and get a quick picture with my phone. I was able to get two quick shots, and then my phone died. The second photo I took was erased because my phone ran out of battery, but I was able to get one.

I have talked to a friend about the little interaction we are yet to have with Ainsley, and it does seem to many kind of wrong/crazy that we haven't held her yet, had skin to skin time (especially with Ginnie), and been able to do many of the things that especially mothers get to do with their children. Unfortunately, when babies are in such fragile condition, it takes very little to upset them and raise/lower heart rate or stress them out. All that said, holding her was that much more of an awesome experience. Also, throughout Ginnie and I holding her, her heart rate remained steady and she handled it very well. I know there will be many ups and downs to come, but I think little things like this will help us get through the valleys and trudge up to the peaks. Thanks again for all the prayers, positives, and angels being sent our way and much love to everyone! Here's to hopefully another good day tomorrow!  : ) 

Moving Forward

First off, I want to again thank everyone for the outpouring of prayers, positive energy, and just keeping us in your thoughts! It has been such a huge part of all of this to know that there is so much love behind Ainsley and her journey.

So, yesterday was Ainsley's big day to warm on up! Initially they had told us to expect it to take approximately 6 to 7 hours, and that this was going to be a slow process. Ainsley ended up taking a bit longer and wasn't finished warming for about 10 hours. She handled that warming like a boss! One of the nurses actually told us that warming at a slower pace can actually be better for Ainsley because it puts less stress and strain on her body. She hasn't had any issues while warming and continues to remain in stable condition. Some of the concerns now pertain to her "blood gas" and the percent of certain things in her blood. She is constantly making progress on regulating her electrolytes and metabolism. She continues to need the assistance of the ventilator to breathe, but has shown a strong desire to breathe on her own. They are gradually lowering the amount of Nitric Oxide that is being administered into her breathing mix. Once her electrolytes are consistently observed being at appropriate levels, and her blood gases are satisfactory, it is more likely that she will be given the chance to breathe without the assistance of the ventilator. This post is going to be kind of short today, but wanted to make sure everyone knew that Ainsley has made is through the warming process successfully. Thanks again for all of the support and love and I will continue to update as often as I can!

The longest days of our lives

Ainsley Beatrix Ward.....Ainsley Beatrix Ward. I just love saying it! A beautiful name for our beautiful daughter, who I fell in love with the moment I saw her.  I was given the pleasure of meeting Ainsley on Friday, August 3 2012; around 11:49am. The circumstances by which we first met were definitely not what I had envisioned or hoped for. Over the past few days I have done my best to communicate to family and friends how Ainsley came into the world, as well as the challenges she now faces. This task has seemed impossible, and this blog is my attempt to share our sweet daughter's progress, while maybe typing through some emotions/feelings I'm having at the same time.
 Ginnie and I had arrived at the hospital for her to be induced into labor on Wednesday at 5:30pm. We were feeling a little rushed, as the original time we had been told was 8:00pm that night, but this last minute change only made me more excited and anxious to meet our daughter! Inductions are many times quite a long process, and ours started out slow. By Thursday morning/afternoon, Ginnie was feeling light contractions, and by 4:45 was entering active labor. Dilation was slow but steady, Ginnie was a rock star in navigating the ever increasing contractions with purpose and doing well at it.  However, Ginnie being Ginnie, she had not slept much at all in the past few days due to getting everything ready at the house, and then being in an unfamiliar hospital room waiting for something to happen that we had been dreaming of for the past 3 years. All that said, she was very tired, and late that night was just out of energy (almost to the point of passing out), and we decided to use the assistance of an epidural. Not to mention that she had to save some energy for pushing. Contractions and dilation continued, and by around 11:00am Friday she was waiting for the order to start pushing. Pushing began and Ginnie was continuously told by our midwife and nurse that her pushes were very productive, and Ainsley was making good progress. During this time the nurse and midwife noticed that Ainsley's heart rate had dipped a few times. Ginnie switched positions a few times, and to begin with, this seemed to help. While continuing to push our midwife again noticed a drop in Ainsley's heart rate and immediately called in for an emergency C-section. Now the whirlwind began. Ginnie was quickly unplugged from everything and whisked just down the hall to the OR. The urgency of our midwife and nurse had me worried, but I just kept telling myself that they were just being cautious. Due to the emergent nature of the C-section I was unable to directly follow Ginnie into the OR, and had to instead get scrubs on and wait outside for someone to come get me. An older nurse was with me outside helping me get dressed in scrubs for the OR, and was impressing upon me that everything would be fine, and that they just wanted to get started before bringing me in. I waited/paced for what seemed like 20 minutes, when in reality it was about 9 or 10. Finally a nurse appeared and beckoned me forward to follow her into the OR. Upon entering the OR I immediately looked for Ginnie, only to catch a glimpse of the grisly scene that is a half finished c-section. I wondered where Ainsley was and turned to my right. I then observed a team of staff/doctors surrounding this small table where I saw my daughter being given chest compressions, while doctors hurriedly blurted out language that became nothing but gibberish in my head as I observed that our daughter was not breathing. How long had she been there? How long had her heart not been beating? I quickly moved over to Ginnie to check on her. I was given a seat beside her and was greeted by the question, "Where is she? What's going on"? I just told her that the doctors were working on Ainsley and everything was going to be ok. I kept peeking around the sheet over Ginnie's head to see what was happening with Ainsley. I told Ginnie I was going to check on Ainsley and got permission to go stand by the team working on her. Upon approaching the team of doctors I heard, "We're calling it at 5 min..."  AT 5 min? How long had it already been? At this point time really just slowed down and I began to start to accept the possibility that the daughter we had waited to meet for 9.5 months might not live through her birth. I then knew there was nothing I could do and decided to go comfort and wait with Ginnie. I continued to tell her that the doctor's were working with Ainsley and that she would be ok. About 30 seconds later, one of the doctors approached me and knelt beside me. He was slow to start speaking, and it felt as if he was about to tell my wife and I that they had been unable to save our daughter, Ainsley Beatrix Ward. Instead, he said,"We were able to restart your daughter's heart..." At which point I blubbered in a sob, "So, she's alive"?! He stated that she was, but not nearly out of the woods and in critical condition. I was able to kiss Ginnie and then follow the team of miracle workers, who saved our daughter, up to the NICU, while one of them breathed for my daughter by squeezing a bag.
After making my way up to the NICU with Ainsley I was able to observe the doctor who had helped save our daughter's life, set up a more permanant IV into Ainsley's umbilical cord, and attach her breathing tube to a ventilator. I was then able to snap a couple of pictures of her before she was set up with more IV's, tubes and monitoring devices. These pictures are from those moments right after she arrived at the NICU.

I then went down to check on Ginnie in the recovery room. We ended up having to wait a while for x-ray results showing that no utencils were left inside Ginnie after the C-Section procedures, so I went up to be with Ainsley until Ginnie was out of recovery. As I arrived back at the NICU, there as literally a line of doctor's and specialists waiting to assist in sustaining Ainsley's life by doing tests or giving her needed fluids, nutrients, and most important of all..her cooling blanket. I don't know if any of you have heard of "hypotermia therapy" (I think that's what it's called), but it is relatively new to the medical community and has only been used internationally for the past 10 years, and at Mission Hospital for the past 5 years. I was aware of the basics of this therapy after following along with the beautiful story of Zach, Marissa, and Asher White; as Asher had a rough start to his life as well, and needed the assistance of this cooling therapy. The idea is that once a baby has experienced a traumatic event/traumatic birth, they are placed on a cooling blanket to keep their body at a low temperature in order to discourage futher damage via swelling, gives doctor's more control over manipulating recovery, and keeps the internal organs slowed down so that the body is allowed to focus all it's energy on healing what needs to be healed. It has produced amazing results, and we are hoping that the same is true for Ainsley and her recovery. Anyway, once the line of doctors had thinned out a little, the staff in the NICU was nice enough to assist us in getting enough things out of the way so that Ginnie could come up to the NICU in her bed and really see Ainsley for the first time. The only other time she had a glimpse of her was right after they revived her and had to rush her to the NICU. It was a brief visit, but at least Ginnie was able to lay eyes on her recently revived daughter.
Honestly, the whole next day was kind of a blur of trying to  sleep, spending as much time as possible with Ainsley in NICU, asking a rediculous amount of questions, and hoping for the best. Many little things have happened over the past 24 hours, but right now we are excited for the events of tomorrow. Today, starting at 12:38pm, the doctor's and nurses will begin to start the slow process of warming up Ainsley's body to normal temerpatures. Also, it is possible that Ainsley will have the chance to get off of the ventilator and breathe on her own. If all of these things go smoothly, Ginnie and I might get to hold her tomorrow night and maybe even get some skin to skin time with her. A lot of things have to fall into place for everything to go smoothly, but all we can do is hope right? Anyway, as of our last visit with her tonight, she has been peeing more regularly (yay!), continued to poop regularly (zyeah!), and her sugars level has stayed in the normal range for the entire day (yes indeed!). Our little girl thus far appears to be a fighter and will hopefully come back to whatever her baseline will be with a vengeance! Thank you everyone for your support through calls, prayers, and positive thoughts sent our way! And a special thanks to the miraculously beautiful people of New Dawn Midwifery and Mission Hospital, you saved our daughter's life! We are both so grateful to have such an awesome community of family and friends to support us in a time of need...Yuns Rock!